Mafia Gazette Past Issue 112
The Mafia Gazette Issue 112 For All The News That Is News Saturday 26th November 'PEACE TALKS GET EARLY BOOST ' By John Milton Here at the Gazette, I have done a lot of talking with both The Conceptualists and ASDA recently over articles in the previous editions, and during those interviews it became clear that both sides were really looking for an end to what seemed an endless situation. This became even more apparent during a discussion down OOC Avenue when neither side could remember why the hostilities had even begun. This gave me an idea. If a neutral party were to sit these two sides down, and host talks between them, they could eventually manage to sort out their differences enough to co-exist at the very least in a state of ceasefire. With Gazette Editor-in-Chief Carmela DeAngelis joining me on this monumentous occasion, I invited both sides to a private meeting in which they could both air their views, and talk to each other in a civilised and non-hostile environment, away from the public pressures to hate each other that the community so often unwittingly spurs on. Whilst talks are still ongoing, they have reached an early positive. Both sides have agreed that changes need to be made, and are willing to listen to the proposals put before them. With some major ASDA participants still yet to comment, we are unable to report a complete success to the initial talks, however I am hopeful that common sense will prevail, as both families are currently radiating a professionalism and diplomacy not seen for some time between the two factions. Well done so far guys, we’ve come a long way towards a positive solution to this conflict. 'TMS: THE INTERVIEW ' By Tommehkins In the last issue of The Gazette I promised to bring you an interview with one of the TMS Made Man. So I present to you the results of an interview with Mr. Bart Biggs. First I asked what he wished to accomplish with TMS now it had been reformed. His response was, “The goals of TMS at this point are to become at least what it once was, when it's leaders were much respected in the streets and they were proud to wear the family tag. My bloodline was born within TMS and I am proud to continue the legacy, as leader of the family my father so much loved.” I then went on to ask him about his opinions on the ASDA vs Conceptualist war, but he declined to comment, adding that most of the ground had already been covered, and any addition from him or TMS would be useless. Moving on, I enquired as to his opinion on The Commission, a question he was happy to answer. “The comission was something interesting to my eyes when I first saw it in the streets. I thought it was a good thing, an alliance between the most important families at this time would mean a great asset for our community. But still, it was doomed since the begining, mafia is not about alliances, it's all about power. Every family wants to be the most powerful one, to control as much business as it can.” After discussing The Commission, I asked Mr. Biggs why he had decided to bring back TMS. His response was, “This summer I retired for reasons I don't want to talk about, but with the thought that I will return sometime. I was disappointed though, when I came back to find out that my old family was gone from the streets. I was happy to find out that my friends were still around, even if they were scattered around the country. I must say that I received alot of help for this come back of The Midnight Society from a great friend of mine. I still owe him for his help.” Towards the end of the interview, I asked him if there was anything else he would like to add, for the Gazette readers, to which he replied, “I want to use this occasion to let mafia people know that TMS doesn't want war, but if we will feel some kind of threat to our well being, we won't be afraid to go to war.” There you go folks, an interview with Bart Biggs, new leader of TMS. I hope great things can come from this new beginning. 'CHURCH ROBBED WHILE PRIEST TAKES CONFESSION ' By John Milton In a shock turn of events, the church became the victims of crime, rather than the absolvers of sin. Church-goers were horrified when the collection plate was pilfered as good old Father Tony heard confession. Eye witnesses reported the shameless thief to be the recently deceased mafiosi known as “Guided By Voices”. Exactly what voices this heathen was listening to as he was committing this evil deed, though Father Tony suspected the work of the devil himself, as nobody else would be brazen enough to rob from a church. Exactly how much was stolen is unknown, though those at the mass counted up at least $700 donated between them that was unaccounted for. Police had no statement to give, but did say that the case would probably closed due to the recent death of the only suspect. Thank you to Arthur Franzs for bringing this shocking story to our attention. 'THOUGHT OF THE WEEK ' By C.C. Anzac This week we are going to focus on something a bit more fun: Bars. Now, I know you are all smiling thinking about that last night out drinking you had, but that is not what I am getting at. What I am getting at is why you would need more than two. Now, I am a busy person. I fly here, there, everywhere. Yet, even though I am a civilian, I do not have time for bars. So how do high ranked people, who have more to do than just answer mail, have “time” for six different bars? They do not. They open them, and then leave them to fester. Sure, they have to pay for them each day- But all they are doing is making our cities, and business districts look ugly and over crowded. There should be a longer process for putting up a bar. You should have to construct the plan before hand, and submit it and then when approved, you have 5-day probation where if you fail at properly attending to the bar it is deleted. However, is it like that? No. Bars are popping up in complete disorder, along with a slew of underage drinkers who like ice in their beer, and a nice glass of white wine, although they know nothing about vintage, labels or grapes. So if you are under 13 and pretending to be a hardass, stop it. In addition, if you have more than two bars, get them wiped. And if you are about to open another, Don’t. And that concludes this thought of the week. 'CLASSIFIEDS ' THE GAZETTE STILL NEEDS YOU! As well as writers, we need sources, people to come to us with ideas for stories. Have something you want to see in the paper, but don’t want to write an article yourself? Come to The Gazette, tell us your story, and we will consider it for publication. Contact John Milton for further details. Horses for sale: These horses will ONLY be sold by private sale and not sold on the open market. Please send offers in to CarmelaDeAngelis at the Gazette offices in Chicago if you are interested in purchasing any of the horses listed here: Chocolate Kidnapper Vanilla Lawyer Slippery Momma Muddy Sneak Handsome Brat Full listings of the last ten successful races for each of these horses can be given on application.